Without realising it our lives can be shaped by those we are surrounded by. It is down to you to curate who influences you and choose the people you want in your life to join you on the journey.
I’ve had two guests on the podcast now who have told me how the majority of people they’ve grown up with have either ended up in prison or dead and until you hear stories like this you don’t understand how fortunate your life has been.
When talking with them questions were raised in my head like, ‘How did they not fall into this path of prison or worse? ' 'What were they doing and how were they thinking differently to the majority of their peers to break this cycle?' 'How did they respond to the peer pressure?'
It’s not until you realise how easily it is to be misled that you see the importance of curating your sphere of influence.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” - Jim Rohn
The Long Term Mindset:
When growing up the majority of us want to chase short-term pleasure and make memories hanging out with friends, partying and in most cases for many boys having some fun by causing mischief.
Only when we are older do we see how influential the people around us can be upon our lives and how easily you can be taken down the wrong path by some people.
Those friends who always chase short-term fun sometimes are not the ones to stick with over the long term.
Short-term pleasure doesn't consider long-term consequences and puts your future trajectory on a very unpredictable path when you’re being influenced by those who don't consider future consequences.
When you start to surround yourself with people who have a vision and discipline you see how quickly life can change and how easily you can take control of it.
Those who have set their sights on future progression approach life differently and their mindset sees life differently. Instead of chasing short-term pleasure they look for consistent growth and are always eager to set and maintain healthy life routines.
These people are not looking to impress others, they are looking to prove to themselves that they can achieve their wildest dreams and they flow through each day to maintain a consistent output.
If you can surround yourself with more people like this then you'll find their way of thinking and their routines will rub off and slowly inspire you to follow a similar route.
Alienation:
You will find initially that when you change your goals and focus more on the long term you start to alienate yourself from those you previously surrounded yourself with. The majority of people aren't focused on the next 20 years so they won't understand the decisions you make.
This is ok, and almost a sign that these changes are the right ones for you. Making longer-term decisions means working hard again and again with no real results. Delayed satisfaction. Not many people can live this way but once you master it and are able to work day in and day out for a positive long-term future you start to think and act differently.
Once your mindset changes towards this way of thinking you start to find others who think similarly and new opportunities and circles of friends are formed in your life.
This is the start of you curating a new circle.
Finding people who align with your new way of thinking and can relate to the goals you have will give you even more momentum.
If your current circle doesn't give you what you need then find people who do. Life's too short to be surrounded by mediocrity.
Here are some of the benefits I’ve found from curating my friendship groups;
Connection:
When you meet people more aligned to your way of thinking you can form stronger and deeper connections. You take interest in each other's lives and goals and encourage one another to keep pushing forward.
Connection can be really hard to find for some people and building trust takes time. I’ve found the strongest new relationships I have formed have come from attending activities I enjoy doing.
Meaningful conversation
It’s amazing how much deeper a conversation can go with someone you know thinks and aligns in similar ways to you.
You don't need to agree on every element of life but if you can find someone willing to listen and not judge, and you can offer that back, then you will find that real meaning and analysis comes into discussions. Trust is built and therefore you can challenge and push ideas further.
Finding people whom you trust and whose opinions you respect is essential to finding greater meaning.
Inspiration
When you hang around people who inspire you and think like you it is inevitable that you find greater inspiration in your life.
When you see the discipline and success someone can get from their routines you see a winning formula and you automatically start to find ways of building your own.
Hunger
Surrounding yourself with more successful people only makes you want to be more successful too. Your way of acting and thinking changes and you level up your mindset.
Remember the quote earlier? “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” so surround yourself with 5 people you look up to and who are more successful than you and learn from them.
Self Belief
People who are growing and succeeding in their lives are inherently more positive and proactive. If you have a dream or idea you believe in they will most likely encourage and motivate you to achieve it.
Surround yourself with people who believe in your dreams more than you and use their energy to build self-belief and momentum.
I am Will Flindall, host of the Valley of Outlaws Podcast where I speak to those who have decided to take control of their life and follow a passion or instinct.
If you feel like you could be getting more from your life, then maybe one of the conversations I’ve had with the Outlaws might help you kickstart a change.
Peace x
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