How can you truly know who you are if you’ve never listened to and acted upon your instincts or intuitions?
Many of us remain uncertain about our future—what we want to do and who we want to become. Often, this stems from not fully trusting ourselves or our inner voice to guide us.
When searching for your authentic self, it’s crucial to connect with that inner voice, listen to it, and learn to trust it. It’s there for a reason—to help you live in alignment with your true self.
It’s easy to coast through life between the ages of 16 and 21, following paths laid out by parents, teachers, and societal expectations. There are clear guidelines and straightforward steps, from school to university to a graduate job in the city.
This path works well for many people, providing a stable route into a career. But here’s the question: Is this what you would have chosen if you didn’t have to worry about money or other people’s opinions? If it isn’t, then why did you accept it?
In Bronnie Ware’s book The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, two of the most common regrets she encountered are quite revealing:
“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
“I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”
These regrets illuminate a widespread, long-standing issue: people often fail to live in harmony with their true desires. Whether due to fear or circumstance, many of us end up leading lives shaped by external expectations rather than our own aspirations.
Yet living authentically doesn’t have to be expensive or complicated. Setting aside just 30 minutes a week to reflect on what you genuinely want—and to plan how you might achieve it—is a powerful first step towards making real changes.
Authenticity begins the moment you start living in a way that energises you and speaks to your soul. Pursue activities simply because they resonate with you or bring you peace. When you honour your own desires, you naturally rise to a higher level of fulfilment and personal growth.
A friend once shared a poignant reflection after taking some time off work: he realised he’d been living his life blindly. He used a beautiful metaphor, likening his life to writing an essay. He said it was as though someone had handed him an assignment and he simply put his head down and started writing, without ever thinking about what he truly wanted to say.
He recognised that he’d made career moves and life choices without truly considering whether they were right for him. Summing up his new perspective, he said, “Now I’ve opened my eyes and I still want to write that essay—but first, I need to plan it and decide how I want to write it.”
I was really taken aback by this idea and how much it resonated with me through various stages of my life and through stories I’d heard from others.
Kevin Hart described life as a book.
He said: “Life is a story. It’s full of chapters. And the beauty of life is that not only do you get to choose how you interpret each chapter, but your interpretation writes the next chapter. It determines whether it’s comedy or tragedy, fairy tale or horror story, rags-to-riches or riches-to-rags.”
These reflections have really influenced my mindset further in recent months, as I consider how best to live my life in a way that truly resonates with who I am. For many years, fear prevented me from embracing my authentic self, meaning I wasn’t writing my own story—fear was the one holding the pen.
I’ve worked hard over the last two or three years to change this mindset, and I’m now approaching a point where fear hardly exists for me. In my eyes, fear has transformed into an opportunity for growth.
Authenticity drives me. I want to become the truest version of myself and lead a life that’s as exciting in reality as it is in my mind. I spent far too many years building a life that didn’t serve me—one that was almost fake compared to who I really was. I’ve no time to waste on that any more, and neither do you.
So as we come to the end of the year, set aside some time to really reflect and decide whether you lived a year authentic to you. Did you do what you said you’d do at the start of the year? Did you take that risk, or did you put it off until next time?
Life doesn’t sit around waiting for you to wake up. For some people, that realisation only comes when they’re on their death beds.
So let’s make a change. Let’s start 2025 with a clearer idea of who we want to be and how we want to live, and let’s take some small but meaningful steps towards that authentic self.
I am Will Flindall, host of the Valley of Outlaws Podcast where I speak to those who have decided to take control of their life and follow a passion or instinct.
If you feel like you could be getting more from your life, then maybe one of the conversations I’ve had with the Outlaws might help you kickstart a change.
Peace x
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