Rejection

It can be hard to see rejection as a positive outcome when your heart and mind are convinced of something.

Whether it's a rejection from a job, person or opportunity, it hurts. You look inwards wondering which part of you wasn't enough. If you are not careful you'll believe what you are thinking and find reasons to agree.

The reality is actually that you're just not what's needed. It's not a personal attack just a matter of time and perspective. What we think we might offer may not be seen and therefore not judged by the other side.

We need to shift our minds away from the negativity surrounding rejection and see it in the positive light that it sits.

Rejection means you tried. You tried to get that job, you tried to get to know that person, you tried to make that opportunity work.

Rejection shows progress because you looked forward. You took a risk and intentionally wanted more.

Rejection shows courage because you were willing to risk not being chosen. You were willing to put yourself on the line.

The world is made up of many opinions, perspectives and decisions and what one company or person thinks of you is irrelevant. You can't allow an anomaly to impact the way you see yourself.

Rejection is an opportunity to reflect, evolve and go again.

Processing:

When dealing with rejection it can be hard to shake off the feel of not being good enough.

I’ve found a few go-tos in my life which really allow me to process and fully understand how I feel about a situation.

The first is exercise. For the period I get to exercise I get the ability to process my thoughts through moments of presence. I’ve found my worst moments occur when I have too much time to think through a situation as I can easily overthink a situation.

By taking away the ability to overthink and just focusing on the present my ability to process is a lot more efficient.

Music is another way for me to process as I can connect clearly with my emotions and understand what part of my ego is hurting.

Music can let you transcend states in your mind and so it's vital for me to process emotions.

Finally, I’ve found the power of writing. When I am trying to process something and clearly understand the feeling around it then writing is essential.

If you are unable to write about how you feel then you won't be able to understand it. Writing has the power of evaluation and enables you to verbalise how you are feeling.

Here are a few mindset rules I’ve set to help me keep searching for more when facing rejection.

Keep Momentum:

The wrong mindset towards rejection can lead to a loss of momentum and this can't happen. You can't let rejection stop you from chasing for more.

Even though rejection might hurt, you need to keep moving forward. You need to find the quick wins, the low-hanging fruit to evidence that you are good enough.

One opinion out of 9 billion is an irrelevant percentage that should not kickstart a negative mindset.

The best thing you can do is go again. Apply for that job, ask out that other person and pitch for that opportunity.

Success is built over consistent growth and many failures.

Remove Emotion:

Emotions can be high when we are after something we believe to be right for us. We get attached to the idea of it emotionally and can easily lose sight of its true value to our lives. Most of the time our emotions overvalue it.

We can get emotionally attached to how we want to be treated and how we want to feel and this can be hard to shift if we have rejections around our working lives.

Gordon Ramsey said “Take it professionally not personally” which is brilliant advice for any time you get rejection for a job application or you get corrected or told off at work.

People are only ever viewing you in certain environments or situations and they aren't able to see the full spectrum you offer so try and view the rejection from their point of view.

Removing emotion from rejection is very hard to do but if you can do it and understand where the rejection is coming from and why someone might not think you are right, then you'll be able to move forward quickly.

Eliminate Fear:

The pain of rejection can run strong. Whether it's fear or embarrassment it can impact our lives if we let it. It can stop us going again with clouds of doubt over our ability to succeed.

Eliminating the fear comes from taking the importance out of the rejection. Once you try something a few times and get rejected a few times you learn to not let it affect you. It becomes part of life and part of your journey.

The fear is only as big as you let it become so squash it from existing in your mind.

Keep Believing:

You've got to keep believing there is a job, person or opportunity out there that is right for you. If you get rejected in any of these then it is because it wasn't right for you.

Regardless of how you may feel if you keep looking you'll eventually find it. So keep looking and keep learning along the way

Progress is killed when you stop visualising and dreaming about what you want to happen. If you can see it then you are halfway there because you know what it will feel, look and be like. Chase the vision in your mind and the truest version of it will exist for you to find.

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I am Will Flindall, host of the Valley of Outlaws Podcast where I speak to those who have decided to take control of their life and follow a passion or instinct.

If you feel like you could be getting more from your life, then maybe one of the conversations I’ve had with the Outlaws might help you kickstart a change.

Peace x