At some point ‘lack’ became the most powerful motivator known to mankind. We developed a mindset that we never had enough and believed we always needed more. As humans, we are never satisfied with what we have.
We believe that we ‘lack’ money, success or things but all we ‘lack’ is perspective.
Our lives become shaped by this race towards making the most money, owning the nicest cars, and having the most success. In our minds, we believe this would validate who we are.
The problem is that none of these fills the real void in our lives from wasted time and a lack of experiences and memories.
“Nothing really is ours anyway. In life, we only borrow it until we die. Then it all goes. The only thing we truly own in this life is moments in time.” Tyson Fury
The first time I heard Tyson Fury say these words it stopped me in my tracks. A man who had everything he could have ever wanted described how it all meant nothing to him in the grand scheme of things.
His watch, his car, and his house weren’t his, he was just borrowing these things under the delusion of ownership because once he dies none of these things would go with him. They would be passed on to someone else.
‘The only thing we truly own in this life is moments in time.’ It is these words that stuck with me the most.
Time is the only thing we own and how we choose the spend it determines how we view success in our lives. We only get one opportunity the live so being able to maximise our time whilst we are here and creating memories to last a lifetime is surely the main motivator.
Money:
Firstly, I don't want to demonise money and the importance of making money. I recognise its value and how that changes across society.
The emphasis is more on why you want to focus on making money and how you choose to spend it.
Money can unlock so many doors for people and can change lives dramatically. The problem we have as a society though is that many people believe having money will change how you feel about yourself and your life. This isn't true.
You can't buy happiness and you can't pay for an amazing life if you don't enjoy it in the most basic form.
The only thing that will change how you feel about yourself and how your life is going is changing your perspective. Learn how you like to spend your time and understand what success means to you.
Once you crack this code you can then use the money you have to start living in a way that aligns you to this.
The question I’ve pondered since I left school was ‘What makes me happy?’ I’ve chased this since.
Success:
What does success mean to you? I’ve asked myself this many times over the last decade as I try to grasp onto ideas of the life I want to create and live.
Trying to become the best version of myself seems an appropriate answer but what does that look or feel like?
I think for a long time I thought that being the best version of myself meant achieving milestones that proved my success. Getting a home, building a successful company, having a family, and being recognised for being good at something. It seemed that for me to be happy I had to have ticked boxes.
Even though I want all those things I’ve come to learn that on their own they don't truly define success for me. Success is about the ability to know who I am and how I want to live and build a life that balances the art of presence and achieving potential.
Having a balance of milestones with core memories with family and friends is fundamental for me but I need to be able to achieve my wildest dreams. I want to look back and think I made the most of my time with people, opportunities and life.
Success isn't just defined by moments with loved ones. Success is also defined by how well I've played the game of life. Finding that sweet spot of making the most of my time.
The Birthday Policy:
After realising how much I resonated with the idea of creating moments in time I decided to impose a birthday policy. Instead of getting lots of physical gifts, I would buy vouchers for events or classes to create experiences and memories that would last.
It meant the person I’d buy for could either go with me or someone else of their choice and create a memory.
It was applied for my Dad’s 60th when my sister and I took him and our step-family sailing in Croatia. It’s just been applied by my mum and sister just recently as an early 30th birthday present for myself, taking me away for a long weekend with them.
This rule has changed how we view birthdays as a family and has instilled the idea that a good birthday present builds connection and memories together.
When we look back at our lives what do we want to see? I'm quite excited by the fact that I don't even know. There are so many memories to make.
I know that I'm glad I'm consciously aware of the limited time I have here with those I love and recognise that to look back with no regrets I need to fill my book of life with chapters of excitement and filled with emotions to know I've truly lived.
I want to make the most of my time with people and myself and as Tyson would say, this is my time to make an impact and create moments in time that are remembered for eternity.
I am Will Flindall, host of the Valley of Outlaws Podcast where I speak to those who have decided to take control of their life and follow a passion or instinct.
If you feel like you could be getting more from your life, then maybe one of the conversations I’ve had with the Outlaws might help you kickstart a change.
Peace x
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