I turned 30 this week, and while it feels like a significant milestone that arrived sooner than expected, it also feels like a welcome one — a marker of change in my life.
Over the past few months, I’ve been searching for the right way to reflect on my 20s, but it hasn’t been easy.
If I had to sum it up in one sentence, I’d say my 20s were the decade I spent discovering who I wanted to be.
As I step into my 30s, I hope this will be the decade where I figure out what I truly want to do with my life. By the end of it, who knows? I might have found a focused career path that brings me fulfilment and success.
To honour my 20s, I decided to write about ten key lessons I’ve learned over the past decade that have shaped who I am today. Perhaps some of these insights will resonate with you too.
1 - Comparison
I quickly learned in my 20s that everyone moves forward at their own pace. Some people take gap years to travel, while others go straight to university.
When you find yourself a year behind your friends, it can feel like you’re falling behind in life. Rest assured, you’re not. We all have our own timelines.
Progress and success unfold at different times for everyone, so comparing yourself to others is never helpful. It’s all relative. Some careers take off quickly, while others build momentum more slowly.
2 - Inner Peace
One of the hardest things we must all learn is how to love ourselves.
It’s easy to fall into self-deprecating habits. You might look in the mirror and dislike what you see or feel you’re not good enough to achieve what you want.
But this is just a narrative your mind has created without reason. It’s irrational.
Learn to love who you are because you are perfect in your own way and have value to offer the world.
3 - Travel
While you’re young, explore the parts of the world that captivate you. I was fortunate to start my 20s after a gap year abroad, and over the next few years, I travelled to many other countries and created incredible experiences.
While you still have the time and freedom, immerse yourself in different cultures and experience life at varying speeds.
Travelling for a few months is something you’ll rarely regret. You'll learn more about yourself than you thought you would.
4 - Experiment
If you’re uncertain about what you want to do with your life, try different things. Our lives are longer than we realise, and it’s important to spend the time while you have fewer responsibilities discovering what you truly love.
When I left university at 22, I had no idea what I wanted to do or how I wanted to live. I challenged myself to work in at least five different sectors by the time I turned 30, just to see what I liked.
I ended up working in seven different fields, and with each one, I learned more about the direction I wanted to take.
5 - Fail
Don’t be afraid to fail.
If you’ve made it through your 20s without failing at a few things, maybe you haven’t pushed yourself to the edge of your comfort zone enough.
Society often portrays failure as something to avoid, but in reality, you learn more from your failures than your successes. You grow as a person and learn what it takes to achieve your goals.
6 - Curate
When we’re younger, we often think having more friends is better. But as you grow up, you realise that only a handful of people truly care and are there for you through thick and thin.
Curate who you spend your time with. They say you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, so make sure those people challenge and inspire you to be better.
Don’t waste time on those who don’t have your best interests at heart.
7 - Network
Meeting people from all walks of life can be incredibly powerful. You never know what opportunities they might offer you or vice versa.
Learning to network and build professional connections confidently will make your life richer and more interesting.
The power of networking is that, once you master it, you create an endless web of connections that could lead to life-changing opportunities.
8 - Love
Learn how to love properly. Many people enter relationships from a place of lack. Building a strong relationship requires loving from a stable and consistent place.
Be with someone because they enhance your life, and you enhance theirs — not because you’re lonely or crave attention.
Learning to love without needing anything in return is a superpower that makes you genuinely attractive to others.
9 - Laugh
Have fun and create memories with friends and family that you can cherish for decades. Your 20s are a massive learning curve filled with a wide range of emotions. Make sure you find joy in the journey.
Laugh until you cry. Laugh until your stomach hurts. Laugh at yourself and savour moments of happiness with the people who matter most.
10 - Presence
This was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn, and I’m still working on it.
Don’t get caught up in the past or worry about a future you can’t control. Try to master the art of being present and tackle the challenges that come your way.
No problem is too difficult to solve. Some obstacles may seem insurmountable, but in reality, they are just hurdles you need to find solutions for. The answers are there; you just need to learn how to see them.
Focus on being present, and everything in front of you will become much clearer.
I feel like I could end up writing about 30 different lessons I learnt in this piece, maybe I will carry this on once I return from my trip.
I am Will Flindall, host of the Valley of Outlaws Podcast where I speak to those who have decided to take control of their life and follow a passion or instinct.
If you feel like you could be getting more from your life, then maybe one of the conversations I’ve had with the Outlaws might help you kickstart a change.
Peace x
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